Sunday, September 29, 2013

You

Roaming around here and there
Thinking of none but you to spare
Wandering aimlessly thinking pointlessly
Just to live a life with your thoughts

You’ve been the shine of my life
You’ve been the virtue of my self
Sitting with you all I feel
Nothing but a life full of zeal

Yes there were others who have impressed me
Yes, there were few who have inspired me
But for you all I can say
You’re the one who has helped myself transcend me

I close my eyes and all I see
Your face shimmering with glee
The sun has flowed down its light

Just to ensure you remain bright throughout the night.

Realization



Into the shining light I stand
Glaring it with all my might
Knowledge has bestowed upon its profoundness
Me trying to learn every bit of it in soundness
It has given me another perception of life
One without any pain, sorrow or strife
Don’t think about what others are
Go where you want to see yourself free

Each lives with their perception
Each lives with their preferences
Sinking and soaking in thoughts
You just become another of their dolls

Painful as it may strike
It is the truth that ultimately survives
They have made their choices and decided
To them we are just another formoisie

For once I have another dream another option
Trying not to be too rational
Dreamer I am if that’s to be
I can finally see things how they should be!!!

Friday, September 27, 2013

From the closet - an old shayari

Khat likhte hue khayaal aate rahe, din mausam aur saal jaate rahe
Chalta raha hamari zindagi ka kissa yun hi ro ro kar beintaha khayal aate rahe
Tanhayi ke alam mein goonjti hai ek hasi chand lamhon ke liye
Aur chood jaati hai maatam ki khamoshi hamein tang karne ke liye
khata humse hui thi ya ye zamane ki gairat ka asar tha
Sisak rahe hain aaj to lagta hai kuch nahi sirf khuda ka kehar tha
Zamane ke zeher ko to paak bana diya tha humne aapki mohabbat se
Chand lamhon ke liye hi sahi, ek muqammal jahan bana diya tha isi hasrat se
Lagi to hamari mohabbat ko jo hamari hi nazar
Kyonki imaan badalta hua khuda ghoom raha tha shamo seher
Ummed ka daman hum aaj bhi pakde chalte hain isi khwahish ke saath
Ki kahin kisi roz to milegi ek pal ki zindagi un zulfon ke paas
Nahi mili to bhi koi gham nahi hai, zamane ke chaar sitam to waise bhi kam nahi hain
Janaza uthega jab mera aapki gali ke chaubaare se
Jhuki nazroon se dekh lena ek baar is mitti ke sitaare ko
Chaand ke paas baith ka kahin dekha karenge aapko uske baad
Aur khuda se dua karenge ki wo inayat banaye rakhe aap pe dino raat
Hui agar na poori ye ek aakhiri hasrat aapke us khuda se
To jahannum tak kheench ke le jaaonga use apni shikwa se
Jala ke raakh kar denge us khuda ko, jisse dekhi na gayi aapke chehre ki haya ko
Isi ek khwahish ko liye jaata hoon main apne aakhiri safar pe
Jumme ke din aake do aanson baha dena meri us kabar pe
Aashiyaan to hasrat ban ke reh gaya aapki is mohabbat mein
Ek eent to laga ke jaana kam se kam mere maqbare mein.

Kaveri Trail 10K - My First Trail Race

Being in the sports industry and especially working as the E-Sports Manager for Running and Walking i was kind of compelled to take part in almost all the major running events in and around Bangalore. It's not that i didn't want to run but the added responsibility of being sports manager for Running wiped away all my doubts on weather to go for a race or not. Courtesy to that i'm kind of a serious and regular runner now.

After taking part in 3 road races in 10 kilometers over past year and a half i decided to journey the trails with Kaveri Trail 2013 edition. It was on 14th of September and to be held at Srirangapatnam (10-12kms before Mysore). We decided to leave Bangalore on 13th late night so that we would reach there around an hour before the race. We set out at 2am with the infamous Bangalore rain showering upon us and managed to reach at the venue by 5:30 am with race to start at 7 am. With office day before and no sleep at night i decided to take a short nap in car for half an hour in order to keep my sanity in check.

We were inside the venue by 6 am and came to know that the race track is at a distant place where we would be taken in a bus (15 mins ride). I still don't know what struck me and i decided to run a trail race in barefoot shoes (vivobarefoot evo II) and without socks - Yes, please doubt my sanity and common sense and don't try this foolishness for any trail. By 6:45 am most of the runners had reached the starting point and post normal announcements and gimmicks the race started at sharp 7 am. My initial strategy was that i would start in the middle as usual and then within first 0.5 - 1km would move ahead of the pack, however to my dismay the track was too narrow (maybe 10-12 feet at best) and it took me a good 1.5kms to get ahead of the crowd. Slippery track and barefoot shoes didn't aid my cause either.

However with little bit of extra struggle i finally was running without any hindrance. The track was pretty flat and not what i had expected (with uneven terrain) apart from few muddy patches here and there and mid to big sized pebbles. I didn't had any specific strategy for the race apart from taking my first stop (walk) as late as possible. 2km mark went by then 4 and finally 6km, i had ensured to keep myself hydrated during the race by taking sips of water at every water station (every 2km). I was having a pretty strong race by then and would have finished in around 55 min. However, my mind started playing tricks and i took my first walk at around 6.5km mark around 30 mins after the race had started. Till 8.5km i took the stop go approach and saw few racers overtaking me, i overtook a few. After having the final round of water at 8km i decided to end my stop-go approach and vowed to run till the finish (not after i had walked another 400-500 meters deciding it). I picked up pace again and started running for remainder of the race, only proper trail that was there on the track was an approx 10 meter climb 300 meters before the finish mark and once it was done i sprinted my way to the line.

In around 40 mins official timings were out and as calculated i had finished the race in 61 mins and 09 secs, my best for a 10k till date. The sleepless night had finally paid off.

Overall it's a good experience and runners who want to start enjoying the basics of trail running should go for it as it would help you ease into the gruesome nature of trail running and prepare for more demanding trails like Bangalore Ultra which is up next for me - 25k here i come.







She - He and 28

They stood there at the pinnacle of the world – holding each other and thinking “where to go now from here?”

She asked – “Do you know what we need to do in order to cross the pinnacle?”

He replied – “My dear, we are at the pinnacle. We can’t cross it – we can just increase it”

For sake of avoiding the pain of thinking of a name I’ve just named them he and she, meaning they can be anyone and everyone – Whatever you might think of, or can make up.

She: “I’m not too comfortable standing here with all worries gone and living just for each other.”

He: “Yes, it bothers me too but I can’t think of anything at present on what to do.”

She: “How can such a thing happen to you? You’ve always been the one who has all the answers, one who is knowledgeable. If you don’t know the answer then who will?”

He: “Yes, I’ve known the answers and have treaded all the paths but it was all because of you. Now standing at this point with the fear that I might loose you has just made me lost. I can’t think of what to do.”

She: “You never treaded the path because of me; it was all because of what you are. What you’ve been. You’ve always understood me whenever I wanted to, and whenever not. You’ve given me space to do things when I needed it, to be in solace. You’ve complemented me through the thick and thin. You’ve made me what I am”

An obnoxious silence followed those words, one which they had not known since they first met each other. Ominous signs were potent.

Today was the day when they had to part, today was the day which they dreaded but they had always seen it coming sooner or later. Only thing they could do was to delay the inevitable and their love had delayed it for long, long enough for them to be in a phase where nothing mattered apart from the peace of lying in each other’s arms and they had relished every moment of it.

Yet, as destiny unfolded they stood there today. The day they had to part ways.

She: “Why don’t you speak something?”

He: “I’m just short of words today, in fact maybe short of everything this particular time. The very thought of living without you makes me dwindle.”

She: “Are you crying?”

He: “You just know how to read me don’t you”

He started sobbing in her arms, letting his sorrow fade away – washed by tears. At once he was at peace, peace that he had known how it should be. His heart was lightened and sorrow started to disappear. A shimmer of light was one thing that he could see again amongst others.

He: “It’s been a long fight and we’ve won”

She: “Yes, what seemed to end in 3 months has now crossed 18?”

At this point her voice began to falter, diminishing with every bit.

He: “You need rest”

She: “That’s all that I’ll be doing from now on. For once hug me tightly the way you used to”

He couldn’t utter a word at that request nor could think of anything. He just grabbed her like he used to – one hand on shoulder and other on waist and hugged her tightly, way he had been hugging her everyday for past 28 years.

She smiled, hugged him tightly. Her body twitched a bit and then relaxed. He held onto it till he started to feel the coldness in her. With dreaded thoughts he tried to look at her face.

It was calm as an ocean; she had passed away but with a smile on her face. A smile which would generate another on his face – Same way they had been doing for past 28.


Life had lost, Love had won.

Words

Words – what do they mean, How endless do they seem
What happens when you shoot a word straight to someone’s heart?
Piercing it in the process devoid of any thoughts
Emotions are left to play with; emotions are left to be thought upon
All along the way you knew it will be the wish you never wanted to be bestowed on

Yet, we fail time and again
Yet, we play with them frame by frame
“Moon was so bright” – what is that supposed to mean
No one thought of how endless it was to seem
Judging each and every word, thinking each and every action
Finding meanings, explanations and anticipating a reaction
What if everything was just a lie?
And I fell into the trap with an open eye

Mind leaves me, thoughts desert me
All I could feel is that sensation to flee
Yet, I have this feeling that someone will throw a rope
 And without any hesitation I will grab on this hope
But, what if that hope was false, what if that hope was lie
I won’t be able to do anything but to comply
Making a mockery of myself filled with emotion
Going deep down with this guilty notion
Oh words why don’t you spare me

For once just let me be!

A day in life of an observer

I look around and all I see
Some dejected faces and some shining with glee
A space so small, a world so large
People living their lives through a farce
Sometimes I wonder how they feel
The joy, the pain and the process to heel
They know to expect, they know to sow
Sailing along this life all they do is row

But is life so simple or is the world too deceptive
I have to sometimes question my own perspective
For I can see through the masks behind which they hide
Their agony, sorrow and pain for not taking a chance to turn the tide
They can put on any mask they want, they can put on any smile they fake
Though I know the truth of them reaching the point of stalemate

Is it ever possible to have a world full of truth?
Everyone living their live and not beating around the bush
I doubt it even though I wonder, spending my time in this aimless ponder
Yes, I do believe that it can be done
Everyone has to just stand up and be selfless like none
Shed the worldly fears, shed the worldly joy
Devote yourself to one common cry


How much I think, impossible it seems
We are but human beings, thinking ourselves to be the king and queens
What’s left of the throne is for the world to see
I can just ponder again and feel a pity on me.

Life and People - A retrospect ?

So calm so serene yet so offensive and obscene
Life as it comes by; teaching things you wouldn’t dare to try
From flowing lush greens to standing pale concrete
Wish I had taken the choice to retreat
But that’s not my nature, that’s not my stride
I would like to hit the shores as one final tide

Predicting the future, judging the actions
All these have just made me devoid of emotions
I see people around happy, merry and joyful
I see them cry, I see them anxious
Not behaving like them feels obnoxious
The mask of smile I put, fake emotions I show
Am I becoming a slave of it steadily and slow?

Truth beckons and it may arrive
Seeing myself in mirror for one more cry
Is it the true self or another mask?
How will I fare in this task?

The Poetic Start

A blank document and zillions of thoughts
Lots of “what if” and “what not”
Pondering aimlessly, wandering directionless
Laughing from inside on my own shamelessness
I’ve been lost; I’ve been lonely – but responsible for it solely

Looking in the rearview mirror - all I see is dust and dirt
As if life was playing a game of flirt
Yet, there seems to be a light at the end of this tunnel
Though I’m afraid I’ll find only dust and rubble
Going all the way seems to be the only solution,
Only if my resolve doesn’t face any more dilution

Finally I’ve made up my mind, should really be one of its kind
Looking in the rearview mirror, this time I smirked
A fresh start, a soulful journey – life moves on like steam from chimney
A calm mind and cool wind blowing in my face,
Seems to be the focal point of solace.